I am struggling with something. Actually, I’ve been trying to figure this out for about 40 years.
I wonder if anyone out there can give me a biblical or spiritually sound opinion on the following problem:
Rest assured. I am not feeling sorry for myself. There is something I am supposed to be learning right now and I am seeking the advice of my peers, the wisest people I know.
I have had my heart broken many times. Not just by lovers, but by family, and very close friends. Many, many, many times.
I was born with a kind, sensitive, open heart. But along the way, I lost that ability. I put up walls of protection, and after a while I even lost the capacity for love.
Since my fairly recent, spiritual awakening, I have been given a new heart. I know that I am loved and that softens my heart and opens me up to connect with everyone around me.
Although I love this miraculous rebirth of my old self, there is a problem.
I have recently learned the hard way, that having an open heart makes me vulnerable to the cruelty of insensitive people. People I care about can hurt me so easily. A voice in my head says, “That’s been your problem all along. Those heartbreaks were a major factor in your spiral toward rock-bottom.”
There’s a verse in the bible that says to “guard your heart.” Does that mean that I should be closed off?
Is there a Godly way to love people and protect myself at the same time?
I want to love people the way God loves them. I really do. I love feeling connected to everyone with a divine invisible thread.
I just don’t know if I can, or should just walk around open and vulnerable to every possible heartache…?
I’m sure I will eventually work this out, but what is our little community for if not to offer support and advice to one another?
I am looking for real wisdom here, not platitudes.
I love you all so much!
Blessings.
Amazing Journey 
I’m very similar to this and that I’ve always been a giver in all of my relationships and I’ve never received an equally except with my current relationship, soon to be hubby. But it took me four Decades of life to get to that point and meet someone that awesome. Besides he and my daughter and my cat and my mom I keep my circle small. I don’t even talk to friends weekly anymore and some of it is because I’m busy but some of it is because after people not prioritizing me over time, I did the same and now I don’t really care about having relationships with that many people. I used to Envy close friendhips watching shows like Friends or seeing groups of people together because I wanted that. And don’t get me wrong I met a friend for lunch last week and I’m meeting a friend for dinner this week and another friend for dinner in a couple of weeks. But I don’t do the asking anymore. I’m still super kind to strangers and I’ll talk to people at Starbucks every single morning because I sit at the bar and work on my laptop before going to work. But I’m more surface with people now and don’t try to make friendships. I’m just telling you that if you approach people and more casual manner, the ones that count and you’re meant to truly be connected with will stick around. I think in some cases the reason people aren’t dependable or what we would like them to be as because they’re just busy with their lives. It took me a long time to realize that especially since now I have most of my days filled with my little tribe. I’m telling you my experience to say that you can love people and be kind of people but just do it from a distance and what is meant to be lasting and meaningful will happen. And maybe keeping in touch with people from your past through social media will be a good way for you to be fulfilled. I do have dear friends that I love but they’re all over the country and I used to be kind of lonely and miss having a close girl friend nearby. But I relish in the fact that I do have people that care they’re just not geographically convenient :-). I really hope that you meet good people that deserve your company and time because you sound like an awesome and sweet person. Sorry for the long diatribe, but this post spoke to me
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Thank you so much for the well-thought-out, honest response. It helps me so much to hear things from someone else’s perspective. I tend to get stuck in my own head too much. I can’t thank you enough. I completely agree that I should focus on my solid tribe; focus on my blessings and give less energy to the ones that are passing through.
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* sorry for typos I did audio
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🙂 that’s ok!
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